2. Instinct

There's no place for love at this time in my life.
I envy those who achieve the balance of need.

Opportunities ignored in the interest of
safe-ness, flying toward my ability's

determined focus. Children gone in their own
living-dreams direction, their lessons learnt

and heeded. My job's complete. Is this my way
of avoiding the 'empty nest' syndrome? Gath'ring

materials for comfort as I settle to old age?

___________________________________

Here I question my right to attend university at the age of 48.
Am I being selfish or is it time to be selfish having devoted the necessary years to my children. I know they've grown up well, I've done my job and now I've decided it's my turn...
A HUGE decision - a brave decision considering I was frowned on by friends and some family who considered it a foolish risk.
But I needed to step out - look forward to the next phase, past 'empty nest' and before 'old age'.
Accepting it's up to me to fill my life and feel fulfilled and at last, I've got the time to consider how I could do just that: feel fulfilled.
I'm saving my soul - feeding the inner me, taking my time back like a young teenager with the world at her feet, I'm striding out into a brave new world.
I just hope no-one noticed amongst all those clever, just out of school 18 year olds, just how old I was :o))